Destiny

Sometime ago, maybe six years? I read a young adult book. The book in question was one of the It Girl novels. While I can't remember much of the plot (But it was deliciously scandalous :P) I remember coming across a poem.

The poem in question was Unfortunate Coincidence by Dorothy Parker. This marks the beginning of my love of this woman.

For the longest time, I would put the complete book of her poems by Penguin Classics into my Amazon cart. But everytime I would end up not getting it, sacrificing it for something I wanted more. I even ended up getting the Complete Stories before I got the poems.

One day on a trip to my local Barnes and Noble, I came across the complete poems. I knew then that I had to get it. It was around $18 and I had to put back another book, but I finally had the complete poems. I remember reading them to my mother in the Kroger's next door.

Today while the net was acting dodgy, I got bored and I reached for the poems. I had never read the poems that were originally published in the Enough Rope volume. I was struck by how much she stewed over death. The title made much more sense by the fact that I had recently read Bobbed Hair and Bathtub Gin by Marion Meade. She said the title derived from something Dorothy said about enough rope to hang one's self.

Its been awhile since I've thought about suicide. But back in my late teen years, it was constantly on my mind. I never went through with it, thank goodness. But I can see and empathize with how she felt. It permeates the senses so much that you can't think about anything else. It is hard to read these poems, but I'm enjoying them. I only hope that I won't become so distressed again. Though with my bipolar disorder, it's likely to happen again.

But all you can do is hope right? Dorothy made it through and that gives me an additional hope that should I ever revisit that dark period in my life that I will triumph again.